BEFORE YOU GO

Well, let me tell you, I really was jealous. Dead jealous, actually. But I was happy for him too. Properly happy. He'd worked hard, got his two As and a B, and was off to Leeds to study some 'ology or other. Everyone was patting him on the back, telling him what a brilliant time he was going to have. And there was me, standing there smiling, thinking, yeah, that's lovely, but what about me? I got a proper sulk on!

The thing is, we weren't boyfriends. Not really. But we weren't just mates either. We'd got ourselves into one of those arrangements where neither of us quite knew what to call it, and neither of us particularly wanted to ask. We knew what we liked doing together, though. That was never the problem. And then September came, and off he went.

At first, we were on the phone all the time. He told me about his new mates, his nights out and, occasionally, rather more than I needed to know about his adventures on Grindr. I mean, bloody hell, he'd only been there five minutes. But I wasn't going to make him feel guilty for enjoying himself. I wanted him to have a brilliant time. I just wanted to be part of it.

Anyway, after a couple of weeks, I was moping around the house, apparently making everybody miserable, when my mum finally had enough.

"For God's sake, you daft sod, it's Leeds," she said. "It's hardly the other side of the bloody world. Get on a coach and go and see him."

And I thought, actually, she's got a point. I'd been carrying on as though he'd emigrated to Australia or the Outer Hebrides, wherever that is. Leeds! You can get there and back in a day.

So I saved some money, ironed a couple of shirts and booked myself a coach ticket. I told him I was coming. Thought it would be safer. But he was dead excited. I told him I'd WhatsApp him when I was close.

Then I saw the sign. LEEDS — 1 MILE.

So I sent him a message.

"Leave the back door on the latch. I'll be banging on it in five minutes."

He messaged me straight back.

"Did you pack the kryptoNight?"

Obvs.

Leeds was brilliant. Absolutely bloody brilliant. And when it was time to leave, he walked me to the coach. Just before I got on, he gave me a wink.

"Same time next week?"

ZESTY FOREVER!